I've always respected those who go through a lot of pain.  :-D Well, I didn't think I'd be going through so much pain.  The logic in me says not to feel pain.  However, all is fair in love and war.  So of course, I hurt so fucking much.  So much pain.  Never ending.  I'm staying up this late, not because I want to, but because of the war.  As i close my eyes, I literally see flashes, colors smashing into eachother.  I feel horrible.  My heart is going a mile a minute, my breath is short.  My whole body feels like its under a million pounds of pressure.  I try to sleep, and what happenes?  I get a weird vision.  I see fire.  Running through my veins.  My blood is boiling and on fire.  Do I feel hate?  No, Sorrow?  No, love?  No.  What do I feel?  Only Pain.  :-D I am filled with never ending pain.  My soul hurts.  My body hurts.  And I feel almost good about it.  Almost.  So much pain...  I wish I could share it with you.  Because I would like to very much.  However, as I have never felt like this before, I doubt I could accurately recreate the feeling in anyone else.  I want to share how I feel.  I always do.  I want to be non-alone.  And at the moment, the pain I feel, is what I want to share.  Will i?  No.. probably not.  Unless someone aproaches me and asks, I will not.  This FIRE inside of me is raging.  What is it?  I don't know.  I feel a battle is waging in my mind, I feel a side winning and a side losing.  My former self, clinging to something is fading.  I'm literally killing myself.  I'm not who I was, I am someone new.  Or old.  But not the me for the last year.  A giant portion of me is fading.  Disappearing.  The pain is never ending, but the feeling is moving from regret to releif, happiness, power. ..  freedom.  All consuming.  I wonder if I sound crazy lately.  I probably do.  I just don't care.  I feel like my breed is dying out.  Or growing up.  Or something.  But the pain I want to share... no one wants it.  So I don't try to share.  Emotionally Traumatized, I'm recovering in a fun way.  With brute force, I'm pushing myself down and pulling myself up.  I've died, suffered the burning of a dead body, and I'm reborn with this hellish form.  The body of someone else, still burning with pain of death.   I hit a 10 on the pain scale and I found something there.  And.. yeah, I'm bringing it back with me.  A demon?  Nah.  A feeling?  Not sure.  What is it?  I don't know.  Shattered.  Broken.  Twisted.  Waking up in PAIN, feeling like I cried all night long, and grinning, pushing the body up with so much pressure on it.  I have power over me.  With all the pain and pressure holding me down, I still find a way to get up.  Do I shake it off?  No no no.  I hold the chains and tear them from their source.  I keep the chains that hold me down so I can use them for my own desires.  Hahahahaha....  a horrible person has been created from the Ashes of a human.